Goodbye Summer, Hello Fall.

One good thing about summer being over,

is the return of my favorite shows!

TomorrowTomorrowTomorrow!

&&&

SO excited.

I guess it's true what they say...

out of sight, out of mind.

Once upon a...

It's funny when a memory can strike you...
I'm one of those people who are plauged by memories, that attached emotion you just can't shake. The movie that plays behind your eyes as soon as the trigger strikes.

Whether it be a band you listened to the whole drive that one summer while you sang along, giggled endlessly, stirred with excitement at the idea of what would be waiting for us when we got out of state.

Or the smell of a hand lotion you carried in your purse the entire time you were getting to know each other, and how the mere smell of it thrusts you back into that apartment complex, sitting by that hot tub, feet dipped in, friends playing the guitar...still feeling out if it's okay to flirt yet.

Or catching a scent of lavender and remember the day we layed on my bedroom floor for 6 hours while your heart was breaking and all we could do was listen to music and fall asleep.

Or how just a glance at my bracelet you gave me makes me think of sitting outside a venue in the sunshine, blowing bubbles, people watching and sucking out the helium from the balloons wafting next to us.

Or how Empire Records or a handful of other movies can't be mentioned without me suddenly finding myself back with you in your silly old Batman sleeping bag, cuddled up safe.

How the thought of a sunny day allows me to lose myself in a drive to my favorite place in the world as I rush through the sand and am completely engulfed in the beauty that I'm nearly moved to tears.

That trip down memory lane can be amazing...can fill us with that feeling that it was so much what we always wanted, that we wish we could live it again, if just for a moment. Rarely do we think back on our lives and let a scent, or a sound take us somewhere we didn't want to be in the first place. Sometimes we can't help it. Sometimes we look over a friend's pictures, and find one you didn't expect. A familiar face, next to a face you'd tried to imagine a million times, but hoped you'd never see...sends you right back to that complex, and to that hot tub and those songs and new flirting...but this time the memory hurts because the new face in the picture isn't yours and you realize your memories are just that.

As much as I love closing my eyes and re-living the moments in my life that brought me pure joy, the ones that I couldn't help smiling at if I tried...I also realize with the good comes the bad, the ones that wrench your heart and twist your stomach. The ones that used to make you smile, but because of how things have changed...make us just wish we could erase them for good.

But you know as well as I do, those kind of memories...the ones that feel different now...

Well, let's just say I wouldn't give them up for anything.

as days go by...

Lately, I've found a strange feeling of comfort and safety in being alone.

Love Terot.

My love Terot Card reading according to 'Astrology.com' today portrayed the following:

"The Five of Chalices card reversed suggests that there is a chance that you're not being honest with yourself. It's time you dealt with unresolved issues, deep fears or unfinished business, which, like a silent undercurrent or an unbridged gap in your heart, could be affecting intimacy in your relationship or love life. Staying busy, turning to familiar comforts or resorting to compulsive behavior could be covering up denial, suffering, stagnation or heartache. Genuinely come to terms with the truth by confronting or forgiving your own role in whatever it is you regret so that you can let go, move on and become more open to romance. There is a safe harbor of support and security available to you, but you might need to seek it out. Recovery and healing are inner work and can begin only after there has been acknowledgement of the hurts that have occurred."

no truer words have ever been spoken.

false start.

“ Just because somebody doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have. "

symbolism.

“The vast majority of jewelry that celebrates the concept of love never reveals the fragility of romantic relationships. The Heartbreak consists of a fragile porcelain heart and light yet strong titanium hammer, both are connected and made inseparable by a titanium chain. When broken the heart will show cracks, yet it will never fall apart as there is a layer of rubber on the inside that will keep the heart together. Indeed as one will usually recover from a broken heart, the small cracks will inevitably add up and form who we are.”


I really like the concept of this necklace.

what could have been.

It was almost spelled out for us.
The remnants left clinging to the hands which held it.
Running fingers over, and over, and over...feeling out the course of it's potential.
A mind never made up
can't decide for sure.
Who knows what the future might have held,
had a heart and head had a chance to lament as long as it took.
Was it a possibility?
Or once again just a confused and misguided idea?
We often find ourselves back to the point in which we are so spun around, we arent sure if we are facing the beginning or the end.
A perfect opportunity arises for what you have dreamed to come to be. But what is not supposed to be, cannot be forced into reality.
Sometimes it must stay in a place in our imaginations where we breathe it, we feed it, we allow it to live...if only for ourselves.
The water runs over what's left of what could have been.
Lost to a place where other’s forbidden dreams have communed.
Never at rest.
Always alive with the energy its still given,
in my heart.